Blog
What Openness Requires
To decide, explicitly and together, what kind of relationship you want to be in is a demanding undertaking. It requires honesty, self-knowledge, courage, and a commitment to personal growth. Those are good qualities to bring to any relationship, whatever shape that relationship takes.
In Defense of Couples Therapy
Seeking couples therapy isn't admitting defeat. It's declaring war on complacency.
No One Likes Hearing "We Need to Talk"
On the skill of bringing something up before it becomes a crisis.
On Wanting
One of my all time favorite poems is Mary Oliver describing a kingfisher diving into water after a fish: "hunger is the only story / he has ever heard in his life that he could believe." I return to that image often in my work with couples because wanting — the hunger itself — is so woven into what it means to be alive. We only cease to hunger when we cease to be.
Which is why it matters so much when people lose the thread back to what they want.
Why Couples Fight About Chores
On the Saturday morning argument, the resentment that lives underneath it, and the difficult art of asking for what you need.
Let January Be Quiet: the Art of Coming Home to Each Other
On candles, slowness, and why this dark season might be the most generous gift your relationship gets all year.
Navigating Pregnancy Loss as a Couple: When Grief Looks Different for Each Parent
When a couple experiences a pregnancy loss, each partner may experience and express their grief in profoundly different ways. Understanding how grief can manifest differently for each parent, and learning to navigate these differences together, can be crucial for both individual healing and relationship strength during this difficult time.
Disenfranchised Grief and Pregnancy Loss: Understanding Your Valid and Natural Response
The loss of a pregnancy—whether through miscarriage, stillbirth, or other circumstances—brings profound grief that can feel overwhelming and isolating. Understanding the concept of disenfranchised grief can help explain why this loss may feel particularly challenging to navigate in our society.
The Long Way Back
The discovery of an affair reorganizes everything. What I hear most often, in the first sessions after discovery, is some version of: I don't know who I'm talking to. The person sitting across from them seems like a stranger, and the life they thought they were living has become a story they no longer recognize. That is devastating. And it’s where this work begins.
What Comes After Falling
When partners say “I love them, but I’m not in love with them.” Here’s a different way of thinking about what that in love feeling was, where it goes, and — most importantly — what it makes room for.
What We're Practicing
The practice of returning to each other through conversation, repair, and curiosity