In Defense of Couples Therapy: Getting Help is a Sign of Strength, Not Failure
Seeking couples therapy isn't admitting defeat. It's declaring war on complacency.
Photo by gregepperson
There are some unhelpful ideas out there about couples therapy, like you should be able to handle your relationship troubles on your own and going to couples therapy is weak or a sign of the end. As a couples therapist — and as someone who has found tremendous benefit in therapy for my own relationship — I’d like to see these unhelpful ideas fade away in favor of some other ones.
The myths must die. Therapy does not mean your relationship is "broken.” It's not a last resort before divorce. It's not an admission that you've failed as partners or as individuals. These are stories we tell ourselves to avoid the uncomfortable truth that love requires maintenance.
Every relationship faces crossroads. Communication breaks down. Intimacy fades. Life stresses pile up. The couples who thrive aren't the ones who never struggle—they're the ones who refuse to struggle in isolation and silence.
You wouldn't fix a broken bone yourself. You wouldn't perform your own surgery or represent yourself in court. Yet somehow we've convinced ourselves that the most complex human endeavor—sustaining love across decades—requires no outside expertise.
The strongest relationships are built, not born. Great partnerships aren't accidents of compatibility. They're crafted through intentional work, honest communication, and yes, sometimes professional guidance. Therapy provides tools most of us were never taught.
Getting help early is revolutionary. Don't wait until you're hanging by a thread. Preventive care for relationships—like preventive care for your body—keeps small issues from becoming insurmountable problems.
Your relationship deserves investment. You invest in your career, your health, your home. Why would you neglect the foundation of your happiness? Professional guidance is an investment in your future together. Love isn’t enough—love paired with skills, understanding, and commitment is what builds lasting partnerships.
The stigma benefits no one. Every couple that seeks help makes it easier for the next couple to do the same. Your courage creates permission for others to prioritize their relationships.
