Beyond Symptom Management: Building a Life That Honors Who You're Becoming
Photo by Jacob Mitani
Now that we've explored the emotional landscape of menopause and challenged the cultural narratives that diminish this transition, let's talk about practical strategies for thriving – not just surviving – through this phase of life.
This isn't another list of supplements to take or foods to avoid. While those things can be helpful, they miss the bigger picture. Real thriving during menopause means building a life that reflects your authentic values, needs, and desires – not what you think you "should" want or what worked for you in previous decades.
Redefining Self-Care Beyond the Spa
The wellness industry has sold us a very narrow definition of self-care: bubble baths, face masks, and expensive spa treatments. But true self-care during menopause is much more radical than that.
Real self-care might mean finally setting boundaries with the family member who drains your energy. It might mean saying no to social obligations that you never really wanted in the first place. It might mean choosing sleep over that late-night Netflix binge, or prioritizing your own needs over your partner's preferences for the first time in decades.
Self-care during menopause is about recognizing that your energy is finite and precious, and making conscious choices about how you spend it. It's about understanding that taking care of yourself is essential.
This might mean having difficult conversations with people who expect you to be available in ways you no longer can or want to be. It might mean disappointing people who have grown accustomed to your endless accommodating. And that's okay. Your job isn't to manage other people's reactions.
The Art of Saying No (And Why It Gets Easier)
One of the unexpected gifts of menopause is that many women find themselves naturally developing a lower tolerance for things that don't align with their values or bring them joy. This isn't about becoming mean or difficult – it's about finally having the clarity and courage to honor your own needs.
The hormonal changes of menopause can actually work in your favor here. As estrogen levels drop, you may find yourself less concerned with being liked or approved of by others. This can feel scary at first, but it's actually incredibly liberating.
Practice saying no without elaborate explanations or apologies. "That doesn't work for me" is a complete sentence. "I'm not available for that" requires no justification. "I've decided not to" is perfectly acceptable.
Remember: every yes to something is a no to something else. Your time and energy are valuable resources, and you get to decide how to allocate them.
Physical Strategies That Actually Work
Let's talk about the physical aspects of menopause management – but with a twist. Instead of focusing on fighting your changing body, let's focus on supporting it through this transition.
Movement that feels good is more important than movement that burns the most calories. Your exercise routine may need to change during menopause, and that's okay. High-intensity workouts might leave you feeling depleted rather than energized. Gentle yoga, walking, swimming, or strength training might feel more sustainable.
Listen to your body's signals. If you're exhausted, rest. If you're stiff, move gently. If you're wired, find ways to discharge that energy. Your body is going through a major transition – respond with patience and kindness.
Sleep becomes non-negotiable. This might mean going to bed earlier than you used to, even if it means missing out on evening activities. It might mean creating a cooler, darker sleep environment or investing in breathable bedding. It might mean having conversations with partners about sleep needs that have changed.
Nutrition for energy, not restriction. Many women find that their nutritional needs change during menopause. You might need more protein to maintain muscle mass, more calcium for bone health, or more omega-3 fatty acids for brain function. Focus on nourishing your body rather than restricting it.
Stress management becomes crucial. The stress that you might have been able to push through in your younger years can feel overwhelming during menopause. This might mean learning meditation, practicing breathing exercises, or simply building more downtime into your schedule.
Navigating Relationships During Transition
Menopause doesn't happen in a vacuum – it affects all your relationships, and those relationships affect your experience of menopause.
Partnership dynamics often need to shift during this time. Your partner may need to understand that your energy levels, interests, and needs are changing. This might mean renegotiating household responsibilities, social commitments, or intimacy patterns.
Have honest conversations about what you need. Don't expect your partner to read your mind or automatically understand what you're going through. At the same time, don't accept dismissive or unsupportive responses to your legitimate needs.
Friendships may evolve during this time. You might find yourself drawn to people who are also navigating similar life transitions, or pulling back from relationships that feel draining or superficial. This is normal and healthy.
Family relationships can be particularly challenging during menopause, especially if you're dealing with aging parents while also supporting your own children. Remember that you can't pour from an empty cup – taking care of yourself is necessary for your ability to care for others.
Creating Your Personal Menopause Toolkit
Your menopause toolkit should be as unique as you are. It might include:
Environmental modifications like keeping your bedroom cool, dressing in layers, or having a fan at your desk. These aren't signs of weakness – they're intelligent adaptations to your changing needs.
Mindfulness practices that help you stay present and grounded when symptoms feel overwhelming. This might be meditation, journaling, or simply taking three deep breaths before responding to a stressful situation.
Creative outlets that allow you to express and process your experiences. Art, music, writing, gardening, or any other creative practice can be incredibly therapeutic during this transition.
Support systems that include people who understand what you're going through. This might be friends, family, support groups, or online communities. Don't underestimate the power of feeling understood and not alone.
Professional support from healthcare providers, therapists, or other practitioners who can help you navigate both the physical and emotional aspects of menopause.
The Freedom of Letting Go
One of the most liberating aspects of menopause can be the permission it gives you to let go of things that no longer serve you. This might include:
Old versions of yourself that you've outgrown but feel pressure to maintain. Maybe you were always the one who hosted holidays, but now you want someone else to take over. Maybe you were the peacemaker in your family, but now you're tired of managing everyone else's emotions.
Perfectionist standards that were exhausting even when you had more energy. Your house doesn't need to be spotless. Your appearance doesn't need to be flawless. Your performance doesn't need to be perfect.
People-pleasing patterns that kept you from expressing your authentic needs and desires. This is your opportunity to practice being genuine rather than agreeable.
Future plans that no longer align with who you're becoming. Maybe you planned to travel extensively in retirement, but now you prefer staying close to home. Maybe you thought you'd want to be more social, but you're discovering the joy of solitude.
Building New Routines That Support You
Your daily and weekly routines may need to change during menopause, and that's not a failure – it's an adaptation. Consider:
Energy management rather than time management. Schedule important tasks during your peak energy hours. Build in rest periods. Allow for flexibility when you're having a difficult day.
Morning routines that set you up for success. This might include gentle movement, meditation, journaling, or simply sitting quietly with a cup of tea before the day begins.
Evening routines that support good sleep. This might mean dimming lights earlier, avoiding screens before bed, or creating a calming bedtime ritual.
Weekly rhythms that include both activity and rest. Maybe you need one day a week with no obligations, or maybe you need to schedule social activities for when you typically have more energy.
The Radical Act of Living Authentically
Perhaps the most important strategy for thriving during menopause is the commitment to living authentically – to making choices based on who you are now, not who you used to be or who others expect you to be.
This might mean making significant life changes: switching careers, ending relationships, or pursuing dreams you've put on hold. Or it might mean making smaller daily choices that honor your authentic needs and desires.
Either way, this is your opportunity to create a life that truly reflects your values, priorities, and vision for this next chapter. You don't have to live according to anyone else's timeline or expectations.
What's Coming Next
The practical strategies we've discussed here are just the beginning. In our final installment, we'll explore how to not just survive menopause, but to thrive in the years that follow – embracing the unique gifts and opportunities of this life stage.
Remember: menopause isn't something to get through as quickly as possible. It's a transition that deserves attention, respect, and intentional navigation. You're not just managing symptoms – you're becoming who you're meant to be in this next phase of life.
Coming Next: In Part 4 of our series, we'll explore how to embrace and thrive in post-menopause, celebrating the unique gifts and opportunities of this powerful life stage.
