Couples Therapy: What to Expect

Deciding to try couples therapy together is a meaningful step in your relationship journey. Whether you're facing specific challenges, navigating major life changes, or simply wanting to deepen your connection, couples therapy provides a supportive space where both partners can be heard, understood, and work together toward the relationship you both want.

Before Your First Session

Preparing as a Couple

There's no special preparation required, but it can be helpful to:

  • Talk about your hopes - What would you like to see change or improve?

  • Consider individual perspectives - Each partner will have different goals, and that's normal

  • Discuss your concerns - About therapy, about your relationship, about the process

  • Agree on basic commitment - To show up honestly and work together on this

Common Pre-Session Worries

  • “Couples therapy is a last ditch effort to save the relationship.” - The best time to come to therapy is when you are both still invested in your relationship, long before either partner has one foot out the door

  • “Couples therapy means we’re broken.” - Going to couples therapy to work on your relationship and personal growth means you have courage and strength

  • “The therapist will side with my partner.” - I'll ensure both voices are heard and respected

  • "What if my partner blames me for everything?" - I'll help create a safe space for productive conversation

  • "What if we realize we should break up?" - Couples therapy helps you make intentional (instead of reactive) decisions about your relationship's future

What to Bring

  • Your authentic selves - Both the loving and frustrated parts

  • Willingness to listen - To your partner and to new perspectives

  • Patience with the process - Relationship patterns took time to develop and take time to change

How Couples Therapy Works

Your Session Time

  • 90 minutes - Relationships need more time than individual sessions

  • Weekly sessions initially, with flexibility as you progress

  • Both partners present - Couples therapy works best when both people are consistently involved

My Approach with Couples

  • Systemic perspective - Understanding how you influence each other and create patterns together

  • Differentiation - Knowing what you think and feel, expressing that to your partner in a relational way, and then holding steady while your partner does the same (even if you don’t like what you’re hearing).

  • Emotionally focused - Helping you understand and express your deeper feelings and needs

  • Strengths-based - Building on what already works between you

  • Culturally responsive - Honoring both partners' backgrounds and values

The Therapeutic Relationship

I serve as a guide who:

  • Doesn't take sides - Both partners deserve respect and understanding

  • Facilitates safe communication - Helping you hear each other more clearly

  • Identifies patterns - Pointing out cycles that might be hard to see from inside the relationship

  • Supports your partnership - Working for your relationship, not just individual satisfaction

Common Questions and Concerns

"What if we fight during sessions?"

Learning how to fight better is part of the process of couples therapy. I'll help you understand what's under the surface arguments, and develop the skills to repair relationship ruptures.

"Will you tell us if we should stay together or break up?"

My role is to help you make intentional decisions about your relationship. I'll support whatever choice feels right for both of you.

"What if my partner won't participate or just shuts down?"

Different people engage differently. I'm skilled at helping withdrawn partners find their voice and engaged partners create space for their partner.

"How do we handle what we discuss between sessions?"

We'll talk about how to practice new communication skills at home and what to do if conflicts arise between our meetings.

Getting the Most from Your Couples Therapy

The most important thing you can do is redirect your focus away from what your partner is doing and back onto yourself. For most partners, this is the hardest thing to learn. It’s worth the effort, though — your own thoughts, feelings, and behavior are the only place where you really have any real power or control.

Between Sessions

  • Practice new skills - Try out communication techniques we've discussed

  • Notice patterns - Pay attention to your relationship dynamics

  • Be patient with each other - Change takes time and practice

  • Celebrate small improvements - Acknowledge positive changes, however small

In Sessions

  • Share what's real for you - Even if it's difficult or might hurt your partner's feelings

  • Listen with curiosity - Try to understand your partner's perspective

  • Ask for what you want - Both from your partner and from the therapy process

Ready to Begin?

Taking this step together shows courage and commitment to your relationship. Whether you're in crisis or simply wanting to grow stronger together, I'd be honored to support your partnership.

Next steps:

Still exploring your options?

Remember: Seeking couples therapy is an investment in your relationship's future. Whatever challenges brought you here, your partnership deserves support in becoming its strongest, most loving version.